Parents University--Finances

This week's Parent's University topic is one that is a favorite of my husband--finances! Don't forget to check over at Kat's blog for other contributors and to add your two cents.

My advice on finances? USE A BUDGET! I love having a budget. When Sam and I first got married I fought tooth and nail against being "put on" a budget. I couldn't understand why it was so important to him. I thought it was the silliest thing I had ever heard of, but Sam persisted.

Now, three kids later, I am SO very happy that we had a working budget before we had kids. It has made dealing with finances so much easier. Sam and I simply do not argue about money. Ever. Everything is decided ahead of time, so except for really big purchases, we don't even question each other about where money is going.

What are the benefits of using a budget?

Confidence that your bills will be paid and you will be able to save.

Peace of mind in knowing where your money is going.

Freedom in spending money how you choose.

Fun. It's like a game in some ways!

(That probably sounds nutty, but I love to find deals! Anything I save in one area means more I can use in another area OR more that we can put in savings!)

What are some ways that you and your family handle your finances?

Parents University--Healthy Eating

Kat is hosting Parent's University. This week's topic is healthy eating...head over to her site to find links to more posts on this topic.

Healthy Eating

Obviously this is important in the age of American obesity.

As parents, we have an opportunity to teach our children healthy eating habits that they will use throughout their entire life.

The bottom line for my family is that our kids learn more by our example than they do by our words. So if we are eating healthy foods, than they want to as well.

• We eat three meals a day with one or two small snacks in between. We limit desserts (at least until the kids are in bed--Ha ha!) and try to have them only about once a week.
• Snacks are generally limited to fruit, vegetables, graham crackers or cheese sticks.
• Fruit is served with every meal, and vegetables are served with lunch and dinner.
• Everybody is expected to eat a little of everything that is served. (My kids have been raised with this rule, so now, at the ages of 4 and 3, there is no arguing about whether they like something or not. They know that they must try everything and being picky isn't allowed.) This has also been really helpful when eating at other people's houses!
• Also I generally ask that they eat their least favorite foods first. That way they get it over with and can move on to the more preferable foods.
• We have very few foods that are "off-limits" to the kids. That may sound strange, but we try to teach moderation. For examply, if you want fruit for dessert you can pretty much have as much as you want. But if you would rather have a piece of cake, then you will just have a very small piece.
• I let the boys pick out our fruits and vegetables at the store (or the farmer's market in the summer). They LOVE to be able to tell their daddy which things they picked out. It has led us to try fun new recipes too!
• My boys love to help in the kitchen too. They are more likely to want to eat things that they have helped prepare.

What do you do to help your children learn healthy eating habits? I'd love to hear your ideas!

Parents University--Finding Personal Time

Kat is once again hosting Parent's University--don't forget to hop over to her site to read more ideas or add your own!

I'm really anxious to see what everyone else has to say on this subject, as I struggle with this one too. However, I do have one great tip for finding personal time, and it's free and easy to do:

Put the kids to bed early!

My kids (all three!) go to bed at 7:30 p.m. every night of the week. There are certainly exceptions, like when we have friends or family over, but we do try to get them in bed around the same time as much as possible. They do tend to get up early (6:30 a.m. most days) but they don't sleep in any later even when they do stay up late (a phenomenon that makes no sense to me!). I do tend to be a morning person, so it works out well for me.

This is the best way I have found to have time to myself. After the kids are in bed, I can do whatever I choose. Some evenings Sam and I will sit down and watch a movie or the news together, or even eat ice-cream without the kids. Other nights I'll use the time to read something fun or take a hot and relaxing bath. Still other nights I actually use the time for cleaning the house--how sad is that? But I do enjoy a clean house, and I'd rather get the house cleaning done at night and have more time during the day to play with my kids!

I do find that when I take the time to do something that I enjoy (that doesn't involve the kids!), I am a much better mom to my children.

How about you? What do you do to find personal time in this crazy, busy world of parenting?

Parenting for Dummies-part 1

When you're babysitting a friend's toddler, and you're letting him play with play-doh. . . . . .

don't ever step away from the area, even if it's "just for a minute" to change your own baby's diaper.

Let's just say. . . . . "Lesson learned." :)

scripture in parenting

Deuteronomy 11:18-21 "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth."

We love to teach our kids memory verses for many reasons. Some we have taught them just so they can hide the word of God in their hearts. Others we have used to help them see their sins. Still others we teach them to show them God's love, power, sovereignty and mercy.

When I'm teaching the boys scripture, I usually follow a pattern. First I'll tell them that we're going to learn a new verse. I'll say the verse, then ask them if they know what it means. That usually sparks a great conversation and we can talk about why this specific verse is important. Then I'll make them repeat it after me a number of times. If it's a long one or one that has more difficult words, I'll either chant it or sing it or make up simple hand signs to go along with it. Those little things seem to really help the kids retain the verse. We'll keep repeating it until I think they have it on their own and then I have them say it alone a few times. When they have just learned a new verse I like to find ways to talk about it throughout the day. I'll point out situations where it is relevant or just have them say their verse to people we see during the day to really solidify it in their lives.

The very first Bible verse that we taught our children is Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." I worked with Henry on this one when he was two, and it is one of the ones that he has never forgotten. I love this because it provides such a solid foundation to build on!

One of the next ones that Henry learned is Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This one comes in handy whenever one of the kids utters the words "I can't...." Another one with the same theme that I recently gave Henry is Matthew 19:26b "With God all things are possible."

A reminder to be obedient is found in Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Both my boys know this one very well!

Two that both boys have recently worked on are Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing." and Philippians 2:5 "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." These seem to go hand in hand and are repeated in my house DAILY!

One of my sons is a brave little boy who often tries to hide a lot of little fears. One that I've taught him (and remind him of when he is scared) is Isaiah 41:10a "So do not fear, for I am with you," and another is Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield." The past two weeks in church they have been working on another that I really like for these situations too: Ephesians 6:10 "Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power."

Okay, I'm almost done here. I'd like to mention just a few more. One that I've just found to use with an angry child: Jonah 4:4 "Have you any right to be angry?" I have a child that I think will greatly benefit from learning this one, but I haven't needed it just yet.

Another two that I think are just great and remind us to be thankful are Psalm 118:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." and Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." I say these two with the boys every single day.

So these are just a few of the verses we have worked on with our kids. Some come up more often than others and those ones are the ones the boys know quite well. Others they might need prompting or a little help with, but they really do understand the meanings.

Are there scriptures that your family uses? I'd love to know which ones are important to you and how you use them in your parenting!

Parents University-Faith

Another installment of Parents University, once again hosted by the lovely Kat. This week's topic is Faith.



Wow, this is a VERY big subject, and one that I can get really excited about.....but I'll try to keep this short. One note, for anyone who doesn't normally read this blog: My children are still very small! My oldest is only 4 1/2, so I haven't really dealt with any older issues. Also, the things I have to say about what works for us are just that....what works for us.



Mark 10:14-15 "When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.'"



The first thing that I would point out is that children trust us as parents. They know that we have their best interest in mind and they know that the things we say are true. So what better time to fill their minds with the word of God than while they are young!



Children are like sponges, right? They soak up EVERY word we say (even if we don't want them to!). So in my mind, it is so very important for us to always lead our children to the Lord.



One way that we do this is to point out their blessings to them. The kids are having fun playing outside? We talk about how God created everything (the sun that is warming us, the trees providing us shade, the flowers they are picking out in yard, etc...), and we take the time to thank Him for it.


We also have noticed that our four year old has an amazing memory. He can remember entire books, the whole plots of movies, pretty much everything that has happened in his life. One thing we do with this is to provide him with memory verses. I'm always amazed how many he can remember at a time! But even my two year old is good at remembering verses. I try to choose shorter ones for him, but sometimes we just have to work longer on the longer verses. We do this so that our children can store up God's precious word in their hearts.....Psalm 119:11 says, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."



We also try to keep our children surrounded with books, movies and tv shows that have a Christian theme, as a way to teach them and get them familiar with Bible stories.



I don't think there is a more important job for us as parents, than to teach our children about our Mighty God and his desire to know each of us personally!

Parents University--Consistency

Kat, over at The Secret Life of Kat, is hosting Parents University on Thursdays. Session one is this week and the topic is discipline. So here is my two cents--don't forget to head over to Kat's blog to see the other contributions!

This is certainly a broad topic, but I guess what I want to focus on today is consistency.

That was a buzz-word for me going into parenting. I thought that to be a "good" parent all I would have to do was be consistent in disciplining my children. Feel free to laugh here! Aren't we all great armchair parents before we actually have kids?

Anyway, three children later, I do still think it is important to be consistent. If a specific action or disobedience will result in a specific punishment today, then it should always result in that same punishment. That way the child knows what to expect and can thrive within those boundaries.

The point where this became the most difficult for us was when we realized that our second child does not respond to discipline in the same way that our first does. It was hard for us (okay, mostly me!) to accept that we would have to treat each child individually. It would be so much easier to have a cookie-cutter answer to every situation, but in reality that just doesn't work.

One of my sons is VERY strong-willed, the other is very compliant, and as such, they respond very differently to (and require more or less) discipline. So to get the best response out of each one, we do discipline the two differently. We are still consistent with each child, and we do have expectations of both that are the same, but their punishments will vary according to the child. And we always make sure that their punishments are private to protect the dignity of our children.