We're back home!

After our house fire on December 5th, we moved in with Sam's parents. They graciously opened their home and their lives to us and allowed us to stay with them during the wait and the

rebuild of our home. It was WAY more fun than I expected it to be. We enjoyed watching the relationship between our kids and parents grow and we appreciated having someone to talk to about all that was going on.

During the time we were out of our house:

Sam left his job and began a new one.

We had actual snow here on Christmas eve! (Okay, okay. It didn't accumulate, but it came down in huge, white flakes and it was gorgeous!)

Mary Beth (Sam's mom) was diagnosed with cancer.

The investigation into the cause of our fire was delayed until January 11th. (So the house sat empty and smoky and wet until then.)

Our ten year old dog died.

We had three days of actual snow ON THE GROUND after three years of seeing none.

My sweet Jonah turned FIVE years old and we celebrated with a surprise party at Chuck E Cheese.

The fire investigation was (finally) completed and the house rebuild began.

Sam's mom began chemotherapy.

We watched our house come back together and finally back to life.

I'm not one to dwell on negatives, but to be perfectly honest...it hasn't been easy. We have struggled with roller-coaster emotions (each one of the five of us at different times) and fought depression among other struggles. Through it all, God (the creator of the universe!) showed up just when we needed Him time after time. There is really nothing that can make a person feel valued or important like the LORD himself showing us that he loves us and cares about our daily battles.

He presented himself as a friend calling to say they were thinking about us at the very moment we needed to hear that someone cared. He whispered sweet words of comfort right into our ears during times of discouragement. He spoke right through the simple, sweet and earnest prayers of our three children. He sent people to give us hugs when we were feeling down but not able to admit it. He sent words of encouragement through those that are able to clearly hear His voice. He provided us with sweet times of worship and spoke wonderful messages of

grace and LOVE to us. He sent people with comfort food. He provided abundant gifts for our children and many people to reach out to them when they struggled with understanding what was happening. He reminded us that the JOY of the LORD is our STRENGTH! He showed us that when we are weak he truly is strong.

I could go on and on....God is SO good. My life verse is Romans 8:28 (It's posted at the top of my blog!). What the enemy meant for evil, God has turned to good. Our house did not burn completely down. Many of our possessions were saved and we realized through this that even if all of our 'things' had been destroyed we would not have been anything but grateful. We have a precious relationship with Jesus and we have each other. And that is more than enough.

Working with our insurance company has been a fun experience. We have always had many hand-me-down items in our home and lots of garage sale finds. (I'm a bargain shopper, remember?) However, when they give us money to replace things they give us full replacement value--to buy NEW things. So we've upgraded many things in our home at no cost to us whatsoever. We had a few things in our house that we would have wanted to change, but we never would have spent money on those things (different carpet, for example). Now we had them done for us for free. We thought we had the house of our dreams before but now we really do!

Time is another gift we received through the fire. We were living with Mary Beth when she was first diagnosed with cancer. We got to spend much precious time with her and Dave as they prayed, talked through it all, made decisions and dealt with the diagnosis. We never would have had a chance to spend that much time with them if not for the fire. God's timing was amazing in having us there and available for that situation.

While staying out at Sam's parent's house, we were about forty minutes outside of our home community. It was a challenge at first to stay connected, but God really revealed some things through that as well. There were things that he wanted us to let go of and things he wanted us to spend more time on as a family. Our kids had only each other (for the most part) to play with for the last two and a half months. They were used to having lots of play dates and having many friends around all the time, but this helped them see how much fun they can really have together. I've seen their relationships grow so much stronger and their appreciation for one another develop into a beautiful thing. That has been one of the best things to watch!

We love you, Jesus!

We are so glad to be back home.

We are so glad for all we've learned through this trial.

One more Elmer story...

Last night I was thinking about my previous post on Elmer and I realized that I hadn't posted about a couple of my favorite memories of him.

Our first house in Bozeman was in a cute little neighborhood and was about two and a half blocks away from an elementary school.

We didn't have our yard fenced for a long time, and when we finally did fence it we shared a backyard with our neighbors behind us (we both fenced the sides but left the back between our houses open).

Those backyard neighbors had a lovely dog named Lucy. She mentored Elmer and mothered him, always watching out for him and keeping him in line.

In the mornings we would let Elmer outside, and for the longest time we just assumed he was either in the backyard or over at the neighbor's house.

What we discovered later was that Elmer had found that groups of kids walked through the neighborhood on their way to school. He would walk with them to school every single morning and then head back to his own backyard.

We were none the wiser until I was talking with a mom down the street one day and she said, "We just love having Elmer walk the kids to school every morning!"

He always did love kids! :)

Elmer (July 4, 1999-January 9, 2010)

Sam and I were married in July of 1999. Just a few short months after the wedding, we were still settling in to married life. We had talked about maybe getting a dog but decided to wait a little while until things slowed down a little.

Then Sam came home one day and told me about a litter of puppies he had heard about. Seems a vet in Ennis, Montana had bred a chocolate lab with a german shepherd and was trying to find homes for the sweet pups. We debated back and forth a little and I don't remember coming to a resolution on whether or not we would get one. All I remember is seeing Sam pulling into the driveway the next day with the cutest little puppy I had ever seen.

I held him right away and he snuggled up as close to my neck as he could, licking my face and whimpering. He had these huge, floppy ears and giant paws that made him look sort of goofy when he walked. He settled down right away and was content just to be held.

We waited a day or so to name him, as we wanted something that really fit. We tried a number of names for him but none of them really suited this dog. Most puppies are full of energy and in between sleeping for long periods they will run around like crazy, but not his one. He was just mellow. Actually I think the word we used at the time was 'lazy.' He was so sleepy all the time and just liked to sit in our laps. Even when it was time to eat he would lay down in front of his bowl, with his head hung over the bowl and lap up his food. We would stand him up and slide the bowl away and he would crawl over to the bowl, flop himself down in front of it again and eat a few more pieces of the food.

It entertained us immensely watching him eat in this fashion. It was while watching him eat that I realized what he needed was a sweet old man name. That is where we came up with 'Elmer' and we knew right away that we had picked the right name.

Don't think for a minute that just because Elmer was a lazy puppy that he wasn't mischevious or crazy. He definitely perked up and acted more typical after a while, but he had a lot of growing to do right from the start. You see, Elmer was the runt of the litter. The smallest of the group and we were told he probably wouldn't get very big. We told ourselves that for a long time, denying the fact that his paws were as big as dinner plates. ;) (Elmer evenutally topped out at about 120 pounds as an adult...he certainly didn't remain the runt!)

As a puppy, we let Elmer sleep in our bed with us. He was so little and sweet and of course he would cry if we left him downstairs (our bedroom was upstairs). At first we would have to carry him up and down the stairs because he was so scared of them. Nothing could coerce him to try it out on his own! Our bed was built up pretty tall and Elmer was scared of the edges. He had to sleep right in the middle of the bed and wouldn't go near the edge. Even as he got older (and bigger!) Elmer was terrified of that edge. He would roll over in the middle of the night and crush us, trying to stay directly in the middle of that bed.

That first winter we were so excited to introduce Elmer to the snow...and he LOVED it! He always had so much energy when it would snow. When we would get deep drifts in the yard, Elmer would bound in the deepest parts and come back out sneezing fluffy snow.

Elmer always had a highly irrational fear of the vacuum. I never did understand that and he never did get over it. I would have to send him outside every time I turned the thing on, and even then if he was close to the screen door and heard the vacuum he would go running.

Another great love Elmer had was swimming. He was never happier than when he was in the water. We used to take him to a little pond not far from our first house in Bozeman and throw tennis balls as far out as we could...he would swim out and bring them back as quickly as he could and he was always eager to go right back out. As he got a little older, Sam even trained him as a duck dog since he had such natural tendencies toward it.

Elmer liked birds and we always had quite a few at our houses in Montana. The funny thing was that we would get hordes of sparrows and red-winged black birds and they would fight over the feeders and take over the yard and Elmer would just watch them from the back patio. But whenever a robin dared to step foot into our yard, Elmer would bark and go running after it. I don't know what he had against the robins, but he never let a single one hang out in our backyard.

Elmer was my constant protector. Sam worked nights during those first years of our marriage and Elmer was a great watchdog. I always felt safe being home alone, knowing that Elmer could take care of any intruder or problem. He was also incredibly protective. Even as we added children to the family, Elmer became very attached and quite protective of each of them. He would have done anything to keep us all safe.

Speaking of children, we were a little nervous when we were expecting our firstborn. We really had no idea how Elmer would respond. He was four years old and had captivated our attention all by himself for that entire time. I worried that he would be jealous. We brought a blanket home from the hospital to get Elmer used to the new scent. Turns out I shouldn't have worried. He loved Henry right from the very start. As Henry grew and learned to crawl, pull ears and tails, sneak food out of Elmer's bowl, turn Elmer's water bowl into a mud bath and ride Elmer like a horse....Elmer adored him through it all. We would say, "Give Henry kisses!" and Elmer would lick his face.

Same thing happened when Jonah came along, and Bridget too. He loved each of the kids and never showed anything but patience to them. Even though Elmer was never good at the game of fetch (he just hated to drop the ball or stick) he would always drop anything for Henry. And when Henry would throw the object just as far as he could and it would go about two feet away, Elmer would gladly bound the one jump away to get it and wait for him to throw it again.

Elmer had many camping adventures, hiking trips and bike rides with us. He enjoyed running with us and also running along with our bikes. Sam has a great story about the time Elmer had a run-in with a moose. Sam was mountain biking and came across a mama moose who was separated from her calf by the road. He stopped and tried to grab Elmer, but Elmer went running after the calf. I don't remember the details, but I do know that moose are notoriously angry when it comes to messing with their offspring so we felt pretty lucky that he survived that encounter.

Elmer had a special affinity for very large sticks. When we were out in the woods hiking or whatever, Elmer had a knack for finding the biggest stick (or sometimes LOG) that he could find and trying to get us to play. I have some great pictures of him dragging sticks that are about ten feet long, trying to convince us to throw them for him. :)

Elmer and Sam always had a special relationship. Sam enjoys puttering around the house and working on projects. Elmer was his constant companion through it all and Sam would keep a running commentary about what he was working on. Elmer would lie down beside wherever Sam was working and when Sam would leave the room to get something Elmer would faithfully follow.

When we moved to Texas, Elmer gladly took the plunge with us. He enjoyed the property we own out here as he has always been fascinated by squirrels and they are abundant here with all our trees. He treed a number of them (and even caught a few) and always enjoyed watching the birds. In the summer his thick coat would get pretty warm, but Elmer enjoyed the shade in our backyard and always did enjoy a nice breeze. In the winter he would always have a bit more energy as the temperatures dropped a bit.

When we had our house fire a month ago, Elmer played with the firemen when they weren't fighting the fire. Even afterward when they were cleaning up and packing up their hoses and everything, there was a group of firefighters throwing sticks for him.

Everyone who ever met Elmer loved him, even those who wouldn't consider themselves 'dog people'. He was just that kind of dog. We had a number of people over the years tell us they thought he was the best dog in the world...and we know that is true.

We'll miss you, Elmer.

You were an invaluable part of our family for the last ten and a half years.

We love you!

January 7, 2010

At the end of the year I always like to reflect on what has happened throughout the year, what we've done as a family, and places we've gone. In the past I've just opened up my picture files on my computer and revisited everything month by month, which kind of gives me an overview or highlights of the year. This year I wasn't able to do that as the restoration company has our computer and all of my pictures are tied up without me being able to access them....what to do?

I turned to my blog. And I was ever so grateful that I had kept a record of at least some of the things that we have done as a family over the past year. It gave me a new appreciation for my blog and left me with a desire to be more faithful in recording things in this way.

As much as I love to scrapbook and would enjoy having complete books for each of my kids, the reality is that will probably not get done in this season of my life. My blog, however, takes only a few minutes out of my day to update and keeps things well organized and easily accessible.

All this to say I am committing to blog more consistently this year. :)

December Ramblings

I know I haven't posted anything recently except for the fire, but I have been busy! We have lots going on that isn't fire related...here is a little bit of it:

• We have received MANY Christmas presents from family and friends (including the four foot high boxes from my mom and Jim!), so we decided this week to start opening gifts early. Each of the children get a day to open a few presents and then on Christmas eve they'll all open one, and hopefully it will cut down on all the chaos of Christmas morning. I just want them to be able to appreciate each gift and reflect on who is giving it to them.
• We're currently staying at Dave and MaryBeth's house, which is about 40 minutes from our house. So we are learning some fun things about our new area...including the great small-town library and awesome local parks!
• My wonderful sister-in-law Kelly knew that I really wanted to make new advent calendars for the kids this year but didn't have the opportunity because of the fire...so she made them for us! They are adorable and the kids LOVE them.
• We put up our own little Christmas tree in the kids room and they use the soft white lights as a night light every night. It's so cozy in their room right now!
• Dave and MaryBeth are babysitting for us tonight so that Sam and I can have a date night with friends...looking forward to a fun evening.
• We finally have a date on the fire investigation (they still haven't looked into the cause of the fire, as they have been arranging for 10 different people to be there when they actually begin) and it looks like it will happen January 11. So hopefully that means January 12 we can start rebuilding! :)
• Our Christmas stocking were being cleaned and stored by the restoration company, but they dug through everything and rush-shipped them to us so they would be here in time for Christmas. They arrived yesterday and still have a smokey smell to them...they'll always be memorable!
• We are so excited for Christmas! All of Sam's side of the family will be here on Christmas day to celebrate together.

Merry Christmas! Hope your holiday season is blessed as you celebrate the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ! :)

Slow Fade

This a really great Casting Crowns song. I've been hearing it on the radio a lot lately and haven't really paid any attention to the lyrics. It only caught my attention because at the end a little girl's voice sings "Be careful little eyes what you see..." and my boys always sing along. Sam and I saw "Fireproof" the other day and they play this song--anyway, it got me (and Sam too!) really paying attention to the lyrics and it is a really powerful song! So enjoy! If you have time, go ahead and listen to the video and if you don't--I posted the lyrics for you to read! :)

God bless you and have a great week!

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you're thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

The Lessons I Learned at ESOAL

If you're done hearing about ESOAL, then you'll want to skip right over this post. ;) This is probably the last I'll write about it for the time being.

The last night (before the sleep/no sleep torture cycles* began) we watched a reeeeaaalllly boring movie on nutrition. It was almost impossible to stay awake by that point. I stood in the back of the room bouncing up and down just to keep myself awake. At one point my friend Alisa (pictured with me above) came back to stand back there too and near the end of the movie we hobbled out together to use the restroom. When we made our way back the movie was over and everyone had a piece of paper and a pencil and they were all furiously writing. I assumed we were missing a written test (not a good idea during esoal) so we quickly sat down. However, it wasn't a test, but a chance to write out what we had learned so far at esoal. The following is what I wrote...(un-edited)...in my state of delirium!

The Lessons I Learned at ESOAL

The experience at ESOAL has been like nothing I have ever experienced. I have been challenged physically, beyond what I thought I could endure. I have been placed in a leadership position and have felt challenged to really help and support and encourage other women. It has made me realize that I often place myself in roles where I am comfortable and not challenged. Jesus has been pressing into my heart the necessity of women's ministry and ESOAL has confirmed that this is something I need to pursue. Maybe not in this season of my life, but I feel that God is preparing me for something in the future. I have learned to truly believePhil. 4:13 -- that with God all things are possible. I believe my endurance level has been expanded and I am still processing the lessons I've learned on applying perseverance to my everyday life. My major had wonderful words to challenge and encourage me with and I will be reflecting on what she had to share with me for a long time. She encouraged me to live a pure and faithful life not just because I am a child of God, but also because I am an example to my children. Also she encouraged me no to overlook sins in their life that are difficult to deal with. I am so very grateful to have been given the opportunity to take part in this absolutely amazing experience! I was taught to always have joy through my circumstances and that is an infectious thing. Others can be encouraged simply by a smile or kind word and that joy is a testimony to Jesus.

*The sleep/no sleep cycle is a time where they had us lie down on the football field for something like four-seven minutes and told us to sleep. Then they would 'wake' us up and have us do exercises and head to the ice-water baths. There we would have to dunk either just to our waists or all the way to our shoulders. Then we would get out and stand around a very small fire. We would have the chance to earn two extra minutes by the fire by answering TM trivia questions or quoting specific scriptures when we were called on. If the answer was wrong, we headed back to the sleeping bags to start the cycle over again. It was pure torture! But in a good way. :)

This one's just for the ladies....

This week I had a sad, sad revelation. After being pregnant and/or nursing babies for the last six years or so, my body is changed. Completely. Mostly in a very good way--I will say that being pregnant AND nursing my babies gave me a whole new appreciation for this incredibly useful body that God gave me. But now that the last baby is weaned and my body has finally adjusted and accepted that fact, NONE of my bras fit anymore! Not a single one! And I'm not happy about it. Some of you might think, "Ah, but now you can go shopping!" and I might be tempted to agree--I mean I do love shopping after all. :) But trying on dozens of bras and searching for just the right size/style/fit/whatever? That just doesn't appeal to me.

So anyway, this might be just a little TMI for some of you, but I really wanted to get that off my chest....pun intended, of course. ;)